Saturday, July 17, 2010

How Facebook is Like Kryptonite to the Fledgling Artist

"Facebook is Kryptonite? But why?" you might ask. "Facebook is such a great way to stay in touch, network and you can even play strangely addicting games about farms and sorority girls." All these things are true, BUT there is also a way that Facebook can seriously effing screw up your life and make you feel like a loser. Let me expound.




SEEING THE PROFILES OF YOUR RICH, SUCCESSFUL, PRACTICAL FRIENDS
When you see your more practical friends buying houses, going on awesome vacations and other shit that people do when their M does not end with an FA, but a BA. All the while, your broke ass is working three jobs just to afford your hole in the wall apartment to come home and try to squeeze in a couple of hours of writing before you collapse from exhaustion. You see that the really dumb guy from high school that would eat anything if you gave him a dollar is ballin' out of control. You're smart and you're broke! Life's not FAIR! See? KRYPTONITE! You are inundated with a daily news feed of your friends doing amazing things that you can't afford to do. And although you love being a writer, actor, etc., there's a part of you that is jealous of your rich friends and it makes you feel like ca-ca. Since artsy folk are AMAZING at beating up on themselves anyway, this daily reminder of "could have beens" doesn't help.


SEEING THE PROFILES OF YOUR RICH, SUCCESSFUL ARTISTIC FRIENDS
You're trying to get your foot in the door and you learn from Facebook that your friend just got staffed on "Modern Family" or is the newest writer on the "Daily Show." They post pictures of them sharing a beer with people you have always wanted to meet. They have your life, dammit! I don't know about you, but when a few writers I know "make it", I think it significantly decreases MY chances of "making it." This doesn't make sense to most people, but it makes total sense to me. Since no one actually makes a living doing this, since she's successful she took my spot! She should be suffering along with me. Then again, I can be a tad negative:) 

PEOPLE CAN HATE ON YOUR DREAMS FROM AFAR

So you get back in touch with some peeps from college. You know, the kind that thought you'd wise up by now and get a real job. When they ask what you'e doing, you are forced to admit that although you have an Ivy League degree, you're waitressing and waiting for your big break. You hear, "Wow, you're still doing that?! You're really sticking with that, huh? What's your back-up plan?" You have no back up plan. Commence shame and self-loathing.

WEDDING PICTURES AND BABY PICTURES 

If you're over 25, chances are the marriage and baby races have taken off. Being that your artists' lifestyle often does not support marriage or babies, if you want them, your friends' pictures are like tiny knives poking your flesh. Besides, who wants to marry an self-absorbed, financially and emotionally unstable artist anyway? That is, until he or she is successful.  Oh it gets better! Then, so you don't seem like the hater that you actually are, you're forced to comment: "Your baby is so cute!" "You were such a beautiful bride!"You wonder if you'll ever have the stability in your life to have a family and cry into your ramen.


FACEBOOK IS THE MOST TEMPTING PROCRASTINATION TOOL IN THE WORLD
You know you need to be finishing that script or preparing for that audition, but you're almost to the next level in Farmville. Oh! And you gotta see if Lee has more baby pictures up. Did Michelle put her pics up from her vacation and let me check on what people are saying about Lebron. Next thing you know it's 2am your eyes are glazed over, your keyboard is covered with crumbs and you have done nothing you're supposed to do.


Kryptonite! Game Set Match. You feel me right? I'm gonna put a link to this on my Facebook page! And while I'm there...you know, letting people know how dangerous Facebook can be, since I'm already there, I can play a few games of Scramble. Oh! And I wonder if Amy has pictures of her wedding up yet? Then I gotta check if that skank is still posting little hearts on my boyfriend's wall! And I gotta check on my Cafe World game. Then write "Happy Birthday!" on six different peoples' walls...
Arts

No comments:

Post a Comment

dreamhost coupon