Friday, March 4, 2011

Charlie Sheen Quotes...In Haiku

Turns out Charlie Sheen is an actual poet. Well, in lieu of this discovery I saw a poetic quality emerge in some of his recent bat-shit insane statements. So without further ado...

Crazy Charlie Sheen's
craziest quotes arranged in 
haiku. I was bored

I’m living a life
of a rock star Vatican
assassin. Face it 

I will out live you! 
I’m not Thomas Jefferson. 
He was a pussy

I have one gear: Go
I was banging seven-gram 
rocks, that’s how I roll

I’m not bi-polar
I am bi-winning. I win 
here and I win there

I am on a drug
It's called Charlie Sheen. You try
it once, you will die

Winning, anyone?
Rhymes with winning. Anyone? 
Yeah, that would be us

I got tiger blood,
man. Dying's for fools, dying
is for amateurs.

I closed my eyes and 
in a nanosecond I 
cured myself. Winning!

They could've fleeced this 
sheep a hundred times, instead 
they skinned it once. Lame

I’m so tired of 
pretending my life isn’t
perfect and bitchin'
I've got poetry
in my fingertips, you know...
and this includes naps

Can't you spin on a 
pink cloud your whole life, and just 
be super bitchin'


  1. Bitchen. The word is "bitchen'" or "bitchin'", not bitching. Old(Malibu to San Onofre)surfer word for beyond cool or awesome. The word is even older than Charlie.

  2. I love Charlie Sheen quotes. My favorite is this one:


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