Charlie Sheen Quotes...In Haiku

Turns out Charlie Sheen is an actual poet. Well, in lieu of this discovery I saw a poetic quality emerge in some of his recent bat-shit insane statements. So without further ado...


Crazy Charlie Sheen's
craziest quotes arranged in 
haiku. I was bored

I’m living a life

of a rock star Vatican

assassin. Face it 

I will out live you! 

I’m not Thomas Jefferson. 

He was a pussy

I have one gear: Go

I was banging seven-gram 

rocks, that’s how I roll

I’m not bi-polar
I am bi-winning. I win 
here and I win there


I am on a drug
It's called Charlie Sheen. You try
it once, you will die


Winning, anyone?
Rhymes with winning. Anyone? 
Yeah, that would be us

I got tiger blood,

man. Dying's for fools, dying

is for amateurs.

I closed my eyes and 
in a nanosecond I 
cured myself. Winning!


They could've fleeced this 
sheep a hundred times, instead 
they skinned it once. Lame


I’m so tired of 
pretending my life isn’t
perfect and bitchin'

I've got poetry
in my fingertips, you know...
and this includes naps


Can't you spin on a 
pink cloud your whole life, and just 
be super bitchin'